Just In Time Remodeling!

At the beginning of the year, we decided to do a major remodeling project at our house. We wanted to redo the kitchen cabinets and counter-tops as well as update a couple of bathrooms.  We got a quote from our favorite contractor (the one who did such an awesome job on our master bathroom/closet last year).  

The cost was significant but we felt like we could swing it. And then...

...breast cancer happened and wiped out our budget.  At the beginning of the year, I was feeling so healthy that I raised the deductible on my health insurance.  Big mistake!  The out-of-pocket cost for the surgery & radiation treatments was almost exactly equal to the quote for the home remodeling.

The big positive result is that I am healthy and cancer-free now, but we decided to postpone the major remodeling project.  Another positive aspect from the cancer was that we were able to put the entire cost on our Citibank Hilton Honors credit card and earn enough points for a few free hotel stays! 

In May, one day while Tony was at work, I was feeling a little bored. I decided to tackle the remodel of the small half-bath myself.  The first step was to remove the old tile.  It was not as easy as I thought it would be.  After 2 hours of hammering & chiseling, I finally got the corner of one tile out.

Tony (surprisingly fully supportive of my effort) came home & got out the sledge hammer.  He had the tile removed in a matter of minutes.  The next step was to remove the toilet and vanity.

I decided to try to sell the toilet & sink on Craigslist to avoid having to haul them off. It is amazing to me that you can get someone to pay you to come & haul off your trash!  I guess it is true - one man's trash is another man's treasure!  I posted the ad on Craigslist and got 3 interested emails.  I sold them to the first respondent for $10. When we get ready to do the next bathroom (don't tell Tony), maybe I'll ask more!

Once we got the tile & fixtures out, we needed to remove the sub-floor.  This was more difficult than we had anticipated.  We took the door off first.  We didn't want to do any plumbing so we had to trim the plywood in place to get it past the protruding pipes.  We kind of buggered up the toilet flange in the process. We weren't sure what to do about that, so I posed the question on Facebook and got some advice on how to replace it.  Between the Facebook advice and a few YouTube videos, we got a new flange in place.

That was after we put down new sub-flooring which, again, was not an easy task.  The room is only 8 feet by 2.5 feet with plumbing pipes sticking out of the walls.  We cut the sub-floor exactly to fit the room but couldn't get it in place because of the pipes.  We got it wedged into the room and then Tony got underneath it with a jig-saw and cut out a section to get it past the sink plumbing.  Then we glued and nailed the cut section back in place. 

I had some tiles left over from the master-bath remodel, so I decided to use those. When I opened the box, I discovered that several of them were broken which meant a trip to Floor & Decor in Marietta.  While I was there, I decided to pick up everything else I would need for the project (adhesive, grout and trowels).  After I had everything in my buggy, I remembered that I would need to cut some of the tiles to go around the toilet.  I got one of the sales people to show me the tile cutters.  He showed me one that would score the tile & then break it, but he said to get one strong enough to score porcelain tile, I would be looking in the $200-$300 range.  Not what I wanted to hear.  He recommended I get a wet saw and showed me one for $50.  Perfect!

I would be using 13 inch tiles and putting mosaic strips between each tile to minimize the number of cuts I needed to make.  I created a grid on the floor to show me where each tile would be placed. Starting on the sink end of the room, I started placing the tiles.

It looked smashing, if I do say so myself!  Even the cuts I made around the toilet flange were perfect!  I used the new tile saw to make the straight cuts, then used a dremel tool with a diamond bit to score the curves.  One tap with a hammer and the section broke off just where I had scored it.

The project was a bit slow-going though because it was interrupted by four trips to the beach and then finally a river cruise in Europe.  I didn't get around to doing the grout until July 13th which made me a little nervous because we were to be hosting a couples' wedding shower at our house on July 20th.

I was very pleased with the end result!

When we had ripped out the old tile, the baseboard tile brought a lot of the sheet rock with it.  Since I suck at sheet rock repair, I decided that we would just cover the damaged sheet rock with bead board.  The problem, again, was the plumbing that we didn't want to mess with.  We needed to figure out how to install the bead board around the plumbing.  I took a picture of the plumbing with my digital camera & then used my photoshop software to make a pattern.

I cut out the section using a drill and a jig-saw and then carved the missing piece up so I could glue it back in place.  It was a pretty kludgy job, but hopefully it would be hidden by the pedestal sink.  

We got the rest of the bead board installed using carpenter's adhesive.  We didn't want to risk ruining the bead board with our less-than-stellar nail-driving skills. We had to shim it at the bottom to make sure that the top edge would be level.

Painting came next.  I hate painting.  I got it in my hair, on my clothes and on my skin.  I even sat on the paint can lid one time, but I got it done and it looks pretty good.

Tony doesn't want me using power tools unless he is present so I had to wait for him to get home from work to cut the trim.  I went ahead and painted it so it would be ready to install.  When he got home, we measured, re-measured, measured again and then cut the trim pieces using the miter saw.  We only had to re-cut one mis-measured piece.  We used carpenter's adhesive to install the trim.

We thought it looked pretty good!  With a little caulking & touch-up paint, it would look almost professional.

The light fixture came next.  We needed to get it in so I could see to finish the touch-up paint.  After getting shocked a few times while trying to figure out which breaker controlled the wiring, we finally tripped the main breaker and I installed the light in the dark while Tony shined a flashlight.  We replaced the beige light switches and ground-fault outlet in the dark too.

We were pleased with our progress.  It was 5 days until the shower we were hosting and all we had left to do was install the fixtures.  We thought this would be the easy part.  Wrong.  First, we had to drill into the tile so we could affix the sink pedestal to the floor.  You can't just use any old drill bit to drill porcelain tile.  I had to get a diamond drill bit and then you had to keep it wet while drilling.  Even then it required a good bit of upper body strength, something I lack, so Tony had to do the drilling.

The instructions for installing the sink were unclear so we made several attempts to get it installed.  There was the tiniest bit of arguing while we figured this out.  I had to go to Home Depot 3 times during the process to get the right plumbing parts.  (I think Tony just wanted to get rid of me, and yes, we DO own stock in Home Depot, so with every purchase, we are really just investing in ourselves!).  We eventually got the sink in and plumbed.  It doesn't leak, it looks great, and we don't THINK it will fall!

 

We thought we would be able to get both the fixtures installed in one afternoon, but the sink took up so much time, we didn't get the toilet in until after we had met friends for dinner (and a bottle of wine).  The toilet installation took place AFTER a few glasses of wine. Thankfully I had bought a new-fangled wax ring replacement thingy so we could re-position the toilet a few times.  In the end, we had to put some shims under the toilet to prevent it from rocking.  We discovered the next morning that it had leaked a little, but tightening up the connection from the wall to the toilet fixed that so we are good to go (literally).

I hung the new mirror and put in the toilet paper holder and still had 3 days until our guests would arrive for the wedding shower!  That should give me time to do things like, oh, shop, clean the house, prepare the food, you know, trivial stuff...

Stay tuned for a post about the party!

Here comes the bride...

My little friend was in a panic because her wedding dress wouldn't zip up! The solution? Replace the zipper with a lace up back, like a corset. First, I got some satin from the fabric store. I was really surprised at how cheap it was. I cut it into bias strips to make the loops for the corset. Next, I sewed the strips. I made them about 3/16ths wide.

I turned the strips using a small metal rod. It was really hard to get started because the strips were so narrow. I used my image manipulation software to create a pattern of circles exactly the size that I needed for the back of the dress. I pinned the strips to the pattern, sewing over each one before I added the next one. (I tried pinning them all at once, but it was too hard to hold them in place.

I opened the back of the dress with a seam ripper and removed the zipper down to the waistline.

While I had the dress open, I decided to take it apart at the waist & adjust the length at the waistline rather than at the hem. (This was my sister's suggestion. I hope it works! Its a little scary!

I created a satin panel to go behind the corset laces. I used iron on stabilizer to give it the body it would need.

I sewed the corset panels to each side of the back of the dress with the paper still attached, then I tore off the paper and attached the satin panel to one side.

I used the same method as above to create the tie for the corset. I just made it a little wider. Here it is all laced up and ready for the beautiful bride!

High School is no place to develop Self-Esteem

I found my diary from high school in a box of stuff from my parents' house.  The section about finding a date for the Junior-Senior Prom would be funny if it weren't so sad. 

Here are some excerpts:

     "Me and Anna and Deanne talked about a date for the Junior-Senior and Deanne suggested her brother Todd to go with either me or Anna.  ...then she asked him if somebody asked him to the Jefferson Junior-Senior, would he go, and he said it would depend on who asked him. Deanna told him that me and Anna needed a date for it.  "...we went outside and talked some more.  Deanna asked him again and he said he would let her know."

     "I went to Phyllis' house that night and we called Jeff to ask him to go to the Junior-Senior with me.  Jeff said he didn't know, that he would call me back.  ...Jeff hasn't called me back yet.  If he doesn't call by tomorrow I'm going to call him..."

     "I'm going to ask Denise if she thinks one of her old boyfriends will go to the Junior-Senior..."

     "Jay called and said that Phyllis had gotten a letter from Jeff and he wouldn't be able to go to the Jr. Sr. with me."

     "I called Jay Sunday night and we talked about somebody to go to the Junior Senior with me.  Jay suggested that he would get one of Mrs. Walker's sons to go with me.  So Monday, he talked to Mrs. Walker and she said she thought one of them would go. He gave her one of my Senior pictures to show them.  Tuesday, Jay said that Mrs. Walker's sons had already made plans for the weekend, and wouldn't be able to make it."

     "Jay said he was going to call Lee and see if she could get me a date with a guy from Commerce for the Junior-Senior."  Wednesday night at square-dancing, I gave Lee a picture of me.  Lee told Jay that she had just about gotten this guy named Tommy talked into going and she thought if I called him he would go.  I called Tommy.  He made up some excuse about his cousin being sick."

     "Saturday was the day of the Jr. Sr. and I didn't have a date...  I went by the cafeteria to look at the decor of the Junior-Senior.  The theme was 'You've got a Ticket to Ride' and 'Paradise Lost' was playing."

Orthopedic Confusion

One day last week, I got a call from Dominion Orthopedic Clinc reminding me of my appointment this week. I didn't remember making an appointment, but I had gone to the clinic a year ago about a shoulder injury so I figured this was a follow up.  I thought about canceling the appointment since my shoulder hasn't been bothering me, but never got around to it.  So today when the reminder popped up on my calendar, I jumped in the car and drove over.

I signed the sheet and took a seat in the waiting room.  After a few minutes, the receptionist called me up and said, "You are a patient of Dr. Steenlage."  I told her that I had never heard of Dr. Steenlage, I was a patient of Dr. Foster. She looked back at her computer and said that it had been more than a year so I would be considered a new patient.  She gave me all of the new patient paperwork to fill out.

A man in blue scrubs called me back to an exam room.  He said, "You are a relative." I gave him a blank look.  He said, "You are Dr. Steenlage's patient from our other office."  I again explained that I didn't know who Dr. Steenlage was. Mr. Blue Scrubs (who never introduced himself) asked me why I was there.  I explained that I thought it was a follow-up for my shoulder but that my shoulder really wasn't bothering me. 

Since it was an orthopedic clinic, I thought I'd see if they had any advice about my sore thumbs.  Mr. Blue Scrubs said he could give me some injections of cortizone to relieve the inflamation, then he left the room.  He came back a few minutes later and said he would take some X-Rays.  We went down to the X-Ray room and he looked in the computer for my records.  After a few minutes, he said, "Do you spell your name T-E-R-E-S-A?"  I said, "My name is Betty Morris and neither of those are spelled T-E-R-E-S-A."  He found my record and commented that it was not filed under Teresa Smith.

Back in the exam room, Dr. Sutlive came in and looked at my thumbs.  He didn't think the injections that Mr. Blue Scrubs had mentioned were necessary and wanted to give me a prescription for Mobic to take for 30 days.

When I went to the desk to check out, the clerk asked if I wanted to make a follow-up appointment in 30 days or if I wanted to just call Dr. Steenlage to follow up.  Not wishing to explain again that I didn't know this Dr. Steenlage, or that I didn't plan to come back to this office, I just said, "I'll call." 

I took my prescription script and left.  When I got to the car, I looked at the prescription and it was made out to Betty Jones.

G-N-I-T

I heard the cutest conversation in the restroom of the Sky Club on a recent trip.  A little girl in the stall to my left told her mother (in the stall to my right) that her little brother has a new nickname.  "It's Nat, but not K-N-A-T like the bug, even though he's little..."  The mother responded, "Gnat is spelled G-N-A-T."  "No", the little girl... corrected, "it is K-N-A-T because knit is K-N-I-T."  Mother: "Yes, it is."  Little girl:  "No, it's not."  Mother: "Yes, it is."  Little girl:  "No, it's not."

Finally, I chimed in from the middle stall, "Yes, it is."
"Thank you", came from the Mom's stall.
"Oh", said the little girl, "then knit is G-N-I-T."
This kid could get all tied up in K-N-O-T-S trying N-O-T to make a mistake!

Call the Police, this man is killing me!

Warning! This note is about a trip to the gynecologist. You men may want to skip it.

I made the mistake of calling my gynecologist, Dr. Calhoun, this morning to tell him that I had been having some issues. He recommended that I come in for an endometrial biopsy. He explained that it is a simple office procedure that only takes about 30 seconds. Oh, and it might be a little painful so I should take 4 Advil before the procedure.

Since I would be going out of town for the next few days, I decided to take advantage of the opening he had this afternoon. In addition to the prescribed 4 Advil, I also took a prescription strength Anaprox because I’ve felt his idea of “a little uncomfortable” during my pap smears. I was expecting “a little painful” to be pretty painful but bearable.

When I arrived, there were very few other patients in the office and they quickly cleared out. In retrospect, I think this might have been by design so they couldn’t hear me screaming.

The nurse came in and took my blood pressure. 110 over 68. If I had known what was coming, I bet it would have been a lot higher. Dr. Calhoun came in and explained the procedure to me. He showed me on his little plastic uterus how he would stick in a tiny innocuous tube to take a sample of the uterus lining. “How does that sound?”, he asked. I grimaced and said, “Just great.” He and the nurse laughed.

I braced myself for the start of the procedure. I got the usual instructions: “Scoot toward me. A little further. A little further. A little further. Spread your knees. A little further. A little further. A little further.” In went the speculum. Yep, familiar with that uncomfortable feeling. Next, I believe he stuck in a full sized vacuum cleaner hose. The tiny tube he had shown me earlier must have been a miniature model for demonstration purposes. I made a few moans and groans. It was, indeed a little painful. When he started vacuuming, the pain increased 400 fold. I arched up off of the table and started screaming. “Stop! Stop! I can’t take it. Please stop.” He continued on, “Just a few more minutes. Hold still” I screamed louder. “PLEASE STOP! GOD, PLEASE STOP! YOU'RE KILLING ME! I CAN’T TAKE THIS! STOP! STOP!” The little nurse, who looked to be about 18, had her eyes as wide as saucers. A knock came at the door. Dr. Calhoun shouted, “Don’t come in.” To me, he said, “I’m almost finished. Just hold on. Don’t move.”

Finally he withdrew the painful instruments and asked if I was okay. I said, “That depends. Are you finished?” He said, “I think I got enough to see what I need to see, but it would be better if I got some more.” I told him I thought he had enough.

He asked me not to tell anyone in the waiting room that I was his doctor because I am sure they could all hear me screaming. Then he said that he knew that it was painful and he told me why he knew.

He said he was in his office one day when his wife burst in. She had just been to her gynecologist. She demanded, “Do you do a procedure called Endometrial Biopsy?” He told her that he does it when it is necessary. Her response was, “Well, your patients hate you.” And she slammed the door, knocking a picture off of the wall.

When I left the office, the receptionist said, “I think Dr. Calhoun should waive your co-pay.” 

False Teeth

While attending a memorial service yesterday, I learned that the owner of the funeral home and I had a mutual acquaintance, the man who lives upstairs from my father at his retirement home. Jerry, the funeral home owner, told me a tale about a little joke they had played on "Klondike", my father's upstairs neighbor.

Jerry got a call from one of his friends, "Jerry, bring some of those teeth up here to the cabin." I guess as the owner of a funeral home, Jerry had some spare false teeth that the owner no longer required. So Jerry cleaned and boiled a set of them and took them up to the cabin where his friends were waiting. Klondike, having had a bit too much White Lightnin', was sleeping it off in one of the bedrooms with his teeth in a glass by the bed. Jerry and his friends substituted a glass with a new set of teeth for Klondike's own. When Klondike awoke and put the teeth in, he said, "I'm going to have to quit drinking that White Lightnin'. Its made my gums swell!" He was spotted that afternoon out back with a knife whittling away at the teeth to make them fit. That night when they went to bed, they made the switch back to Klondike's original teeth in the glass by his bed. The next morning when he woke up, he was amazed that the swelling in his gums had gone down and his teeth fit again. He again swore off of the White Lightnin'.

I haven't had a chance yet to question Klondike about this story, but it should make for some lively conversation at the retirement home the next time I visit!